Thanks to a friend, this past week I had an opportunity to be interviewed on the radio for The Gallery for Inspiration™. This was a first. I've never been interviewed on the radio before.
It was nice that I wasn't obsessing about the upcoming interview. I went on about my days doing my usual things and only preparing a small amount in a way that felt right to me. I felt both calm and excited.
No surprise I enjoyed myself. The two radio hosts were super friendly. I felt welcome, really enjoyed the experience and appreciated the opportunity. Honestly, I was a little naturally high as I was experiencing this new experience.
If anyone out there reading this has experienced living with anxiety as an everyday companion you know the challenge it brings to your life. But, in my case, it didn't have to be a forever thing. Years ago I started looking to become clear about past experiences that had contributed to my limiting self-beliefs. Out of this work, I learned more about my patterns and eventually moved forward to let go of my old limiting stories. And this work is still paying off every day, from feeling less anxious to experiencing a pretty incredible life.
That day on the radio, instead of squirming with fear and doubt, there was just me showing up to enjoy the experience and at the very least, learn. Learn more about giving a radio interview and deliver my talking points about The Gallery for Inspiration™. Learn how to spontaneously answer questions without being scripted (however I did bring some talking points). Mostly, to be ok with not knowing how it would all turn out.
When I was sent that MP3 file I listened with great curiosity. I'd forgotten how I answered some of the questions and was more than curious (ok maybe even a little worried). As I played the MP3 file I waited to see if I was embarrassed. I wasn't. Overall, I feel it went really well. Here it is edited to a much shorter version.
I just don't have the ambition to be perfect anymore. Trying to be perfect was making me miserable especially in the situations where I'm not all that skilled yet. I'm just me and if that includes my (charming?) stumbles and quaint memory losses in mid-sentence, the mispronunciations, the dreaded brain freeze, then so be it. But because I was willing to be myself in that interview I relaxed and I didn't experience too many of my charming stumbles.
One more thing about inventing reasons to be afraid and anxious is that the experience unfortunately becomes all about us rather than the real reason we're doing what we're doing. Imagine obsessing about "I hope I don't forget what I want to say. Jeez I'm scared. What if my body makes one of its (charming?) noises? Will they like me? I'm not qualified to do this. Why did I agree to this? I hope I don't let ______ down. What if I embarrass them or myself? What if I fail? And my personal favorite (even on the radio- jeesh), How do I look?" Funny sure, but it's exhausting to be that person. I'm ok with being less buttoned up because it's allowing me to relax, use the freedom to change direction, even while leading a workshop. That's a good thing.
After listening to the interview, I walked around my house watering plants while talking to my guidance, sharing that I felt great and that I had a lot of fun. And I felt that now familiar confirmation showing me that it was very good indeed that I had enjoyed myself.
It just makes everything so much easier and fun when we kick a little butt. Such as in stepping up and doing whatever it is that we love doing or, at the very least give ourselves the space to improve.
Speaking of but ... For all you fellow strivers and perfectionistas and anyone feeling insecure about themselves, there's one BIG caveat. We can't force ourselves to feel confident and secure. We have to be ready to work towards it. And that takes looking at where our old perceptions come from. It takes work to be being willing to let the old perceptions go and choose to allow for the stronger, more confident, more joyful, and a more amazing version of ourselves.
Do you have any limiting self-beliefs you have that you're ready to look at, to learn from, and when ready, let go of? Don't assume you're damaged goods or the only one out there who feels this way. Even all the whoop-tee-doo gurus and our supposed leaders have had to look at themselves at some point (...or not). It is a choice to be sure. However, everyone grows when learning about themselves and taking action from that place.
The more of us learning about and letting go of our fears, the more we can more fully enjoy our lives and make our contributions. Let's go for it together.